Writing is like T20 batting. If you block, you might as well retire to the pavilion! -- Pete Langman
Expat in Germany

Sunday, May 14, 2017

Puppy Shame!

It was Friday night and Mahati invited her friend home for dinner. She finished garnishing the pulihora and bisibelebath and they both were setting up the dinner table when her flatmate stormed into the room. She was coming back from her office and was visibly upset, angry and both. A concerned Mahati said, 'What's up? Anything wrong? I invited my friend for dinner and made a Andhra special.' Her flatmate did not quite notice Mahati's friend. She asked, 'How can people be so mean?' Mahati quickly put all the dinner in a hot pack.

'The guy that my parents wanted me to marry rejected me saying I am too thin for him.' said her flatmate. 'How can people judge someone based on their looks and physique? Is that not mean and hurtful?' Mahati replied, 'Absolutely. But what you should actually be doing is feel happy and grateful that you would not be married to someone who did not even interact with you to know about you. He let the weighing machine weigh your character. Obviously you would not want to marry a person like that. It is good news. Let us be happy for that, no.' 
Her flatmate did not cool down yet. 'Yeah, you are true, I should be happy. But what if all the people I know and will know in the future are like that? That is because, now that I think of it, girls who I thought would befriend me for what I am and of course, all the elderly aunts in my family also are the same. They judge me because I am thin. How correct is that? I am sure that some aunty lady would have told the guy that "look she is too thin. she is not suitable to marry." In fact, some so called friends are worse, whenever we go shopping for clothes, they direct me to the kids section. Is it my fault that I am thin? Is every one of them perfectly shaped? Does every woman need to have a so called curvy figure? Why can people not just be themselves and not indulge in bashing others for something they have no complete control on!'

Mahati understood her flatmate's agony and tried to console her. She said, ' Try not to think of all those. You might have only a handful of friends or people who like you for who you are. Only worry about those. Do not bother about others. When friends do such body shaming, it generally is in a very friendly manner, try to think of it that way. And when relatives say so, well, they are all relatives after all, what more do you expect.' she winked. 'However, even relatives try to tell for our "own good" you know. We do not realise it but we also do it quite often. After all, we are relatives for others too, is it not. None of us are Buddha or Gandhi. We do hurt others unknowingly. Just try to only take from what you hear, what you really need. All this might seem to be a way to escape the taunts of the society and not stand up against it boldly. But trust me, you would achieve nothing out of standing up. Nor do I say that you should start eating and exercising once someone comments on your skinniness and start dieting once someone starts bashing you for being a kilo heavier. Whatever others think of you, you do know that there always is someone who knows what you are. Don't let go of them! And now, enough of philosophy and let us eat before thermodynamics starts working on the imperfect hotpack!'

Mahati's friend who was listening all along laughed and asked, 'But what about me?'
Mahati's flatmate, who in her furore have not seen him till then, had a look at him.
He was five feet, three inches tall!